I entered Hyrule Castle after Link and I saved the kingdom yet again. Princess Zelda herself greeted us in the throne room and knighted us! She then invited us for dinner. I always heard Hyrule cuisine was awesome, but I hadn’t had any myself. Zelda led us to a hallway Link and I hadn’t noticed when we explored the castle. I smelled something delicious as we walked the halls. “Ooh, what smells good in here?” I asked.

Zelda giggled and opened the door at the end. A familiar tune played as soon as the door opened: the four notes that play when you get items, followed by songs coming from a jukebox in the corner. “Welcome to the Hyrule Café!” Zelda said as we took our seats. The three of us had a lovely dinner paid by the princess herself. Link and I thanked Zelda for the meal and I borrowed one of their menus. If any of you visit Hyrule, you must go to the Café! Bring lots of Rupees!

The Elixir Soup is one of the best items I had ever seen in any Zelda. You get two doses, and it refills your health and magic, and doubles your attack power until you take damage. It always occupies one of my bottles in Wind Waker. It comes in handy enduring the Savage Labyrinth.

The Greengill and Hyrule Bass are common fish you can catch most often throughout Twilight Princess. All the other fish, save the Reekfish, are endangered, and thus do not appear in the menu. Obviously, neither do the Bomb Fish or Skull Fish. We can’t have our customers blowing up and getting attacked, can we?

The Gyorg is a big powerful shark appearing as a regular enemy in the Great Sea. I find them very annoying, and for revenge, I caught them and thought they should be served! I heard about how sharks in our world are being caught, having their fins cut off and thrown back in the sea, where they drown. I feel sorry for the sharks who suffer this outrage, but if it happens to these monsters, I must simply laugh. The Heart Container prize at the end fits their original boss role, as every boss in the Zelda series (minus the second game) drops these life extensions.

The Cucco originated in A Link to the Past, and has appeared in every game since. And for you Kentucky Fried Chicken loyalists, Colonel Sanders helped the Hylians catch them and cook them. I guess after so many Revenge Squads attacking, the Hylians had enough, and enlisted the Colonel’s help. The Revenge Squad is what Zelda Wiki calls the flock that overwhelms you if you attack a Cucco too much. Rather fitting I’d say.

The Lon Lon Breakfast Bar is the Hyrule equivalent to breakfasts at Shoney’s, Waffle House, IHOP, and other breakfast joints in our world. Nothing like a delicious breakfast to start your day, complete with a Heart Container. The Hot Spring Water was a joke I made while playing Twilight Princess. Two Gorons in the game require Hot Spring Water to open a shortcut and a shop. They go crazy after drinking it, like a sugar rush. “Maybe that water is their version of coffee,” I said as one Goron blazed past me, dropping a Heart Piece.

In several Zelda games, Link can also collect fruit. While it’s mostly for trading sequences or feeding one of his pets in the Oracle games, the Apple is different. Certain trees drop a bushel of these if you dash into them with the Pegasus shoes in A Link to the Past. Apples restore one heart each and they regenerate when you return to the area. Besides, every restaurant needs fruit!

The Superb Soup comes from Twilight Princess, available in Snowpeak Ruins. This dungeon does not have any recovery hearts at all, so the soup made by Yeto is the way for healing without dipping into your reserves. It starts out very weak, but as you present the cook with ingredients in the dungeon, you double its potency. The Superb Soup is the best of these soups, and restores eight hearts.

The food item returns from the original game where it belongs, and I made up what the meat is actually made of. This item attracts weak enemies to it in the original game, and was necessary to complete a dungeon with a hungry monster who says “grumble grumble.” I decided it was meat from the Dodongo enemies, since they were very strong in every game they appear in. The ones in Majora’s Mask were exceptionally strong. But as tough as their exterior is, they’re soft inside, and quite tasty if cooked just right!

And now the fabled drinks throughout the series! All of these items are palette swaps of each other, using Hue/Saturation for the appropriate colors. The Great Fairy’s Tears was the item I copied and adjusted, since it has the largest image on Zelda Wiki. This item is very rare in Twilight Princess. One is given by Jovani if you bring him 20 Poe Souls, the other by the Great Fairy at the bottom of the Cave of Ordeals. If you want more, go to a Fairy Fountain when you’re out and the Great Fairy will give you a refill (or drink some Rare Chu Jelly; it does the same thing). Because of its rarity, it’s expensive. If you must know, it tastes very sweet.

The Chateau Romani is by far the best item I’ve ever seen throughout the series. I’d like to see it in future games, even outside the series! It appears in Majora’s Mask and it fully restores your health and “makes your magic last for three days.” Unlimited magic for three days makes fighting the bosses much easier (especially if you have the Fierce Deity’s Mask!). You can pick this up at Termina’s Milk Bar in Clock Town, where they charge the same amount. It tastes like milk and honey combined. It’s very refreshing! I put the star on the bottle to differentiate it from the standard milk.

The fabled Potions make their return, sporting the price tag they carried in A Link to the Past. Interestingly, the Green Potion was going to be in Twilight Princess, but it was removed because Link doesn’t learn magic. However, you can get a yellow and blue Chu to fuse together to make Green Chu Jelly, but it doesn’t do anything. The game’s info page is totally blank on this item. Apparently, Nintendo forgot to remove this before release. It makes me wonder what would’ve used magic before they scrapped that idea. The potions taste like strawberries, limes, and, blueberries, respectively.

And then there’s the Fresh Water, which Link just pours on the ground. Why doesn’t he drink it? That might come in handy when visiting deserts or something! Now it’s a beverage that I’m sure you’ll enjoy, because it’s everywhere!

The title screen from the original was the base for the menu, though I changed the color of the sky. I hated that pinkish color, so I made the sky more natural looking. The beverage section is actually modeled after the shops from the original game.

All items and the Zelda franchise property of Nintendo and Shigeru Miyamoto
Time spent on this: ~6 hours

And no, I am not working on a Ganon version.